Jokes supplied by Liz Kelley,

a very nice lady and special friend of the author

 Hon,

What about an alligator in a bar joke:

This guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by  his side. He put the alligator onto the bar and turned to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you all a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth carefully for a whole minute. He'll then open his mouth and I remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the the crowd gasped. After exactly a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genital, unscathed as promised.

The crowd cheered and the first of many free drinks was delivered. After a few shots, the man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone five bucks, who is willing to give it a try."

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while a young woman in hot pants walked up to him followed by another braless woman, who looked like her sister, wearing a short skirt with her see-through blouse. The first one said.  "Mister, let me see the money!" The other added, "Double it! And we both are willing to try."

The one in hot pants said, "One more thing, promise not to hit me with the beer bottle on my head!"

Liz 

"...click the picture...

..for more jokes, have fun now!"

01/09/09